JW
20 de febrero de 2019
Moving, Helpful, Reassuring, Informative, ...
If you experience social anxiety or know someone who does, please read this book. I wish I had this book in my life earlier, and I found myself moved to tears many times while reading it. I first read How to Be Yourself many months ago, and I’ve been nagging myself that I need to write a review because of this book’s importance. Regarding my own anxiety, nothing has made me feel more reassured, acknowledged, encouraged, and knowledgeable than this book has. I've researched about social anxiety, but I feel like I never fully understood what was going on in my brain until I read this. Not only that, but I feel like I now also have realistic tools to overcome my anxiety and be myself—by loving myself!There are three particular ideas in this book that really struck me as helpful and enlightening. The first is the author’s attribution of the name “Inner Critic” to social anxiety, i.e. the voice in our head that tells us we’re not good enough. The author explains how the critic is misguided and incorrect, and I have found this way of thinking very helpful because I can now recognize when my thoughts are coming from my inner critic and address them using the methods she suggests throughout the book.Secondly, the author’s chapter comparing social anxiety to an apple tree was probably one of the most reassuring in the book, considering a hallmark of social anxiety is the thought that something's wrong with you. She explains that social anxiety is simply the result of two necessary qualities, social awareness and behavioral inhibition, growing out of control. That is to say, those of us with social anxiety just have too much of a good thing—and better yet, it can be controlled. I love this quote: “Social awareness and behavioral inhibition are such useful traits in maintaining harmony and security that to Mama Nature it’s worth the risk of sometimes going overboard.”The third idea wasn’t explicitly made by the author, but I took this away by synthesizing all of her incredibly helpful advice and testimony regarding methods to overcome anxiety: I need to love myself. I have spent much of my life listening to the Inner Critic and believing that I wasn’t good enough. By using her methods including replace and embrace, mindfulness, “doing it before you’re confident,” and “daring to be average,” now I feel like I have the tools to practice real self-love by believing in my real self! This quote from the author caught me quite off guard the first time I read it because of how deeply it resonated: “I realized how many opportunities I missed because I was afraid of people rejecting me, but I was just rejecting myself.”Finally, I would like to add one more quote from the author: “Ironically, the individuals I work with who experience social anxiety—the same people who think they’re inadequate, awkward failures—are, time and again, the most interesting, beautiful, and kind people one could ever hope to meet.” If that doesn’t encapsulate how entirely comforting and motivating this book is, I don’t know what would. This is a message I wish I could shout from the rooftops.There is still a lot of stigma surrounding any mental illness, and regarding the socially anxious there is particular stigma around not having a lot of friends or not being easily sociable. I’m in my early twenties and so many people of my generation and younger struggle with social anxiety—I wish I could give them all a copy of this book. Therapy is not an option for everyone, and I truly hope that there will be more education and awareness of mental health in the future.Although healing is a slow process, my way of thinking has definitely changed for the better since reading this book. Thank you, Dr. Hendriksen.Ver másVer menos
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